One of the names for that great big full moon out there tonight is the “Hunger Moon.” The name reminds me that each person we encounter – whether happy or sad, loved or alone, included or marginalized – hungers for something. Most us share a feeling that something – something hard to describe – is missing. Even when we appear to have it all, a hollow, unfilled space or two inside keeps searching for a reason for this vague yearning that we feel.
What are you hungering for right now, in this season of merry and jolly and bright? Can you name the hunger that is somewhere inside, asking to be fed?
In the movie, “Moonstruck,” Ronnie Cammareri has realized that he is in love with Loretta Castorini, but she doesn’t get it yet. She keeps pushing him away, pushing away the possibility of loving him because she thinks it’s too wrong to be right. Somehow it doesn’t fit with the traditional rules, roles and expectations she had been living by. She doesn’t even want to hear it from Ronnie. So she gives him a good, hard slap across the cheek and yells at him, “Snap out of it!”
But Ronnie can’t let it go. “Love don’t make things nice” he says. “It ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people…”
For some people right now, Loretta’s desire to push away an unimaginable connection has become their own daily experience. It is hard for them to imagine that their world, the one they know so well, can remain safe and happy if it means connecting with people of color, or people of different sexual orientations, or people who come from different countries or practice different religions. And so they try to push all that away.
Other people reach out and make connections. They are like Ronnie, understanding that loving others is messy and imperfect. It is also stimulating and interesting! When we communicate with people who are different from the people we are most familiar with, we understand that those interactions will challenge us and change us. It will ruin everything, because relating to others shakes up our established world, cracks open our hearts and lets some light in.
We are here to be in community with one another. We are not meant to be alone. Nor are we meant to be stagnant, like a pond that can no longer offer life to plants or animals. We are meant to breathe life into every day. We are meant to keep living and learning until the end of our days.
The more we try to push others away, push them out of our world so that things remain the same, the more disconnected and isolated we feel. The hunger growls and grows deeper. Without working on our own transformation, we are bound to become stagnant and lifeless.
We have the tools, as individuals and as groups, to reach across the divides and the differences that separate us. We know how to build community. Being with others who are different and complex and maybe outside of our comfort zone satisfies the hunger for connection and the urge to learn anew all the time.
When you look at the moon tonight, try to be moonstruck. Think about ways that, in your life, you have shown some of Ronnie’s willingness to risk all that he is and all that he believes for the sake of loving another person. Maybe in the new year we can all start overcoming our doubts and fears about others and consciously take that leap of faith toward making meaningful connections.
